Woodcock are a highly-prized game bird. Despite this, I picked one up at Moseley Market for £7 after a tip-off from Lap, a fellow gastronaut. They are delicious – with deeply-flavoured, dense, breast meat ideally served very rare. But they are less rich and gamey than grouse. Apparently woodcock defecate before flying – this means they do not spoil as quickly from the inside and do not need plucking before cooking. The innards are then traditionally served on toast. Whoever prepared this woodcock didn’t get the memo as it’s cavity was sadly void. Another woodcock treat is to split open the skull and eat the brains which are delicious. Unfortunately my woodcock had taken a shell in the back of the head – presumably by some kind of Sopranos watching psycho farmer. Luckily I had some duck liver and heart left over from Sunday’s lunch, so I could approximate the dish – the offal was treated to a glug of oloroso and served on toast.